Thanks for seein' about a girl, friend. here's where I'm writing my own history—for you, for me and anyone else who needs to laugh to keep from cryin' every once in awhile.

I want to do something.

Alright, I'm a postin' fool! Happy scrollin' :) Ok, so there are like 4 new posts so read up! Now, I'm flippin' channels and I see this show, Daisy Does America. All I can think is that I need a show like this. It's my ticket. The golden one, people. Danita Does Britain!

DJ Up In the UK. Southern Charms in Imperial Environs. Danita Dallies All Over Britain. Great Britain Gets Danita!

What a prize. Think of some titles. This is doable, people. You'll all get fabulous postcards at the very least!

Anyway, I think this would be the funniest damn thing ever, and I'm not drunk at this time. Y'all help me out! Let's write in and suggest a cultural exchange. What would be funnier than my black, Southern self traversing through Great Britain?

My accent is solid - well the English one is. I'm not sure if it's English proper, but I can pass for something, but probably not black English - they all Caribbean and stuff. I'll have to work on that. But man, how awesome.

I could learn how to host a high tea party, ride a horse like a lady, play polo, wave like the Queen, prepare spotted dick, um, re-enact the Canterbury Tales, become a court jester, stand guard outside the palace in a big ass black bearhat(in other words, this could be how many ways can I try to gain access to some Royals?), tend George Michael's garden, tee off at St. Andrews, get my game on in the Highlands (my gran's maiden name is McDonald), figure out what the hell goes on in Wales, cut a jig, mend some fences in Derbyshire, shear some sheep somewhere, locate where the cows are really mad, perform a soliloquy at the Globe Theater, work on my Northern Irish brogue (if there is such a thing), chug some Guinness, proffer up some pints everywhere, see if I can bend anything like Beckham, get wicked on the pitch for some cricket ...

I think the possibilities are endless and lend themselves to some hilarious fun. Of course, each episode will wrap up neatly, where I learn a little bit, but I also teach a little bit, too. Here's where "y'all" will come into full effect. I'd hug everyone and wave at everyone, swap some slang, try to find some good in their scary teeth by recognizing the beauty of my gapped ones ... I mean, really, y'all.

Come on. It's the perfect thing. Help me out. I've found my "passion." Let's get my career on :)

So, um ...

Home Again.