- TN
- My life as a hermit and the rather serious social effects (or defects) that have generated as a result
- Work annoyances, which I would like to say come in parts, but it's already encyclopedic so there's no need for numbers, really, now is there?
Those posts will come soon enough. In the meantime though here's a survey that I was going to e-mail, but I once again got annoyed with myself for trying to figure out who would want to receive such a thing. No one. So instead I thought it'd just be better to post it since the same number of people will see it that way anyhow. Anyways, settle into your seats and ...
Welcome to the new edition of getting to know your friends.
(The instructions. Do they not bother you? I feel if you have e-mail, you know how this works. It's like someone telling you today, step-by-step, as an adult, how to tie your shoe. And who else would you send it to, other than folk you already know? But that last part got me started on this entire parenthetical tangent -- for those of you who get this repeatedly, this means you have lots of friends. Now, I took a philosophy class, and I'll tell you, I wasn't even the smartest kid in there, but something about that sentence doesn't strike me as logical. Like, it's a sentence, but you know who your "whole bunch of people" are, and it doesn't just naturally follow that I have a lot of friends just because I keep getting these things from people. They're the SAME people. And these are pretty much the same questions, but I'm about to embark on a spreadsheet voyage so I thought I'd do it anyway.)
1. What is your occupation?
Data Coordinator
2. What color are your socks?
I'm not wearing any today. I sometimes like for my feet to be bare. And I know you're probably wondering, "What fun is it to have leather shoes that stink?" Well, I'll tell ya. It's about as fun as realizing you're only on question #2 and there are 38 more to go.
3. What are you listening to right now?
Gregg Allman Band, courtesy (and that I'll use lightly) of Pandora. I'm trying to be patient and not use up all my skips, but it sounds a lot like he's on the pot straining instead of smokin' the pot and streamin'.
4. What was the last thing that you ate?
It was ill-advised, I can tell you that. Those little fruit chew snacks from the vending machine. I don't know why I always suspect they'll actually be fruity or tasty. Anything that leaves a virtually unwashable film on your fingertips prolly shouldn't be ingested.
5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Heck yeah I can. I am the clutch. (Which obviously isn't as great as being clutch, but whatever ... I think I am that, too... sometimes. Other times I just stall.) (I also wnat to offer a separate parentheses to say that I said "I am the clutch" like Jesse Jackson said he iz somebody.)
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Burnt sienna.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Some work-related dude.
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
I have too many friends apparently; it's too hard for me to tell.
9. How old are you today?
Twenty-six goin' on seventy-two by the way I've been talkin' all day. I also lunched early.
10. Favorite Alcoholic drink?
I wish my secret garden was a bier garden.
11. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Tennis.
12. Have you ever dyed your hair?
No.
13. Pets?
None. (And this here is the point where I start to ask how well you really even know me or want to know me if you're asking questions you already know the answer to. And you can already know them because a) you've answered them 40 times already or b) because you're that kinda friend and we talk often enough to where you'd know if there was something chewing my shoes or not.)
14. What is your favorite food?
melted cheese.
15. What was the last movie you watched?
Borat.
16. Favorite day of the year?
Midnight. New Year's Day -- I guess because it's the one blingin' chance I get to play "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?" and immediately follow it with Little Texas's "What Might've Been."
17. What do you do to vent anger?
I IM someone endless rounds of babble, defyin' AIM to text limit me. I defy rate limits. Since when is fast typing a crime? (I immediately started singing Babyface's "Why? It's no crime. I'm addicted to love. Let me do my time. Whoa hoa oah why?) And if there's a maximum there oughtta be a minimum I feel. I'm just sayin'. (Can you tell there might've been a vent sometime in the not-so-distant past?)
18. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Play-doh.
19. What is your favorite fall or spring?
Spring. I like the thought of all things being made anew.
20. Hugs or kisses?
Hug-a-bunch.
21. Cherries or Blueberries?
Blueberries, unless there's alcohol involved and then I'll take a cherry.
22. Do you want your friends to email you back?
Sure! So I can see the circle go unbroken ... by and by, Lord, by and by.
23. Who is most likely to respond?
Heh. I feel people are likely doing other things ...
24. Who is least likely to respond?
Who cares? How is this helping you get to know me any better? Why am I still posting this? This feels v. much like I'm not only trying to be lame, but I'm actually succeeding.
25. Living arrangements?
Apartamento.
26. When was the last time you cried?
Saturday night. From laughing so hard so quickly as I tried to keep my bearings in the foggiest nightclub ever.
27. What is on the floor of your closet?
Shoes and something that fell off a hanger probably.
28. Who is the person that you have known the longest that you sent this to?
I feel like this is one of those surveys that came from myspace ... which leads me to then believe that none of you will do it because you've already done it and it's posted on your pages ... your pages that I can't see because somehow y'all have concluded that you want "your space" to be private, which amuses me greatly because it seems like the antithesis of having a space altogether. But anyway. None of you will respond now I feel because this is terrible and you've already done it and I just want to take this opportunity to say how awful it is that I don't have a record of having received at least seven of the 40-question survey in my inbox this week ... yet. Which means that you've been sending them to other people and I am not one of them, or in keeping with the deja vu trend we're in right now, I've already done this ... no wait. Rachel will tell me if I already have ... but you have to admit that I do at least give different answers.
29. What did you do last night?
I dreamed I was still driving, lost in Tennessee.
30-31. What inspires/Who inspires you?
People who -- forgive me for this but -- people who know their chances of finding their soulmate in an uber fogged up, sketchy Memphis club are slimmer than their waistlines will ever be, but they head on in there anyway and dance up on anyone and everything because, "Well ... you never know," they tell you, shoulders shrugging off-beat as they invade your face and then ask your permission. I'm inspired by their not just sitting somewhere in "ignorance is bliss" land -- a place reserved only for them, whoever they are. No it's like instead they have "ignorance is bliss" passports and they bring "ignorance is bliss" land to you, and I have to admire their courage and their enthusiasm. It'd be contagious were it not for the fact that I wouldn't know bliss if it kissed me in the face.
(And I know that you're going, "Uhhh, Danita" to the waistlines line, so let me assure you that yes I, heretofore known as Pot, have already met and ate heartily with Kettle. He's black, too.)
32. What are you afraid of?
Feeling stuck.
33. Plain, cheese or fancy hamburgers?
Cheese and beef and a bun big enough to manage it.
34. Favorite dog breed?
Tie between labradors and cocker spaniels.
35. Number of keys on your key ring?
Enough to jingle, which is all I can feign to care about.
36. How many years at your current job?
Hmmm. 3 months today actually. My, my, my.
37. Favorite day of the week?
I don't have those anymore. I have to work for a living.
38. How many states have you lived in?
4
39. Favorite holidays?
Turkey day, Christmas, Easter
40. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery?
I guess this is supposed to be the fun, betcha didn't know this about me, question, huh? Well, if a pedal moped counts as a motorcycle then I've done it and done it well. Oh, I've also driven my papa's tractor.
I can't believe there were 40 questions and that I made it a point to answer each one ... some of them in babbling detail even. Oh well, I will leave it here for me to enjoy a couple of years from now when hopefully I'm in a place to marvel at how I could possibly waste so much time.