Before I left for New York I felt butterflies fluttering in my heart as I said goodbye to all the people. I tried to position it as more of a see you later, but that didn't really work. So as I usually do when I'm grasping for words, I picked up my nothing book and found this quote:
Don't be dismayed at goodbyes; a farewell is necessary before we can meet again, and meeting again, after moments or a lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.
That one helped a great deal as did this one:
Do they miss me at home - do they miss me? 'Twould be an assurance most dear, to know that at this moment some loved one were saying, "I wish she were here." - Caroline Mason
Ultimately it was:
"Knowing we are loved may be the key to our doing the things we fear" that helped me to suck in my trembling lower lip and move on ...
And now I'm here, knowing that I'm loved when phone calls arrive with voices singing "I just called to say I love you" and little note cards appear in my mail box denoting packages are waiting to be torn open. Today was another package day. It seems like they come at just the perfect times, too. For instance, Rachel's arrived when I had a really crummy day, and as I ripped open her box I was overwhelmed with glee and felt that I'd returned afresh from the world of loneliness. There were clippings from the Gamecock in there and I hadn't realized how much I'd missed reading that! And there was a package to help me grow my very own clover - which I still have not attempted because I think my thumbs are truly brown for a reason.
Last week my sister pepped up my week with tea and candy for relaxing times and treating oneself right - things to do, she continues to press upon me, that are most important.
Cue the Ice Cube, because today was another good day: Mi amigas proffered up a box! Here I was expecting a padded envelope and I got a box big enough to embrace as I glided past envious eyes. How did y'all know I was fresh outta body wash? Amazing! Muchas gracias.
I've also taken to stringing up the cards I receive as they serve as daily reminders that while I'm here by myself I'm not as lonely as I sometimes think:
A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from dying out completely. - Pam Brown
I'm happy that your thumbs all appear to be greener than mine. I feel a little more pep in my step - due in part to the sugary goodness that are red hots! (I'll try not to spill them all over tarnation, l, since you won't be here to laugh it off with me!) But mostly I feel loved, so whether I call or write I want to say I love you back because:
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. - David Viscott
&
But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine. - Thomas Jefferson
Thank you for being my friends ... for true hearts ... you're pals and confidantes ... someday i'll throw a big party and invite everyone ...
[I love how this off-the-cuff paraphrasing comes from the cheesiest theme song ever, but it's still SO good!]