Allo dear ones. First let me say that I didn't post about my birthday to solicit happy birthday wishes. I suppose it's inevitable when you do so, but I felt sort of silly earlier today - almost as annoying as that person who pre-announces their birthday for a full month, "30 days until I turn, ...!"
"I'm taking a vacation in two weeks."
"Awwwww, where are you going? You know you're gonna miss my birthday party."
I've talked about these people and how they annoy me, and now I feel like I'm the exact same kind of annoying, only it's backhanded or something. Anyway, no worries. It was just another day, and frankly, let's face it, 4 years from 30 - who should be jumping up and down for that? Or maybe I should, but lately, all I've really wanted was a trip to Disney World, to be tugged wildly down a grassy hill in a Radio Flyer, to chase the ice cream truck in desperate glee, to lie on my back in an open field and blow whistles on leaves of grass, point out people, places and things in the clouds ...
It's hard to stay young at heart when there aren't any toys around and no playmates to call you outside to roam and pretend and ride bikes. So, I search for other things to keep me delightfully busy, besides unpacking (bugh), and I find things like your Career Astrology Report, courtesy of Tarot.com. I LOVE these things. Some of you say, crock'o shit, and part of me wants to say it, but then I read them and I find myself nodding along saying, "Uh huh, that's my shit," and so what am I to do? I think there's some good stuff in there. At the very least it does tell me stuff that I already know, but it's also stuff that I forget to acknowledge, so at its most basic form, these reports serve as reminders. So there, I've disclaimed any silliness not previously ascribed to my more practical and dogmatic Capricorn nature. Anyway, this one was free, so naturally I said, where do I click and snatched it on up. What follows are pieces of it - it's very long and very interesting to me at least - but I promised Lisa that I'd sift through it and share, so here it is. Maybe you'll learn a bit more about me and maybe you'll disagree, but you can always take your little mouse and click on somethin' else. (Okay, so maybe there was no need to get that atitudinal about it, but I don't have co-workers to talk smack to at the moment.)
I encourage you to close your eyes and conjure the voice of the Childlike Empress from Fantasia as you read about me and my individuality. Careful not to become mesmerized into thinking the you is actually for you, though. I was going to change the you's to Danita, but then I just couldn't bear endless paragraphs of referring to myself in the third person. Because that would really make me a tool.
* * * * * * *
You were born under the sign of CAPRICORN and your ruling planet is Saturn, the planet of patience, wisdom and maturity.
Your Sun sign is CARDINAL and this indicates that you were born to be a leader, either in thought or action. You are never completely satisfied in a subordinate position carrying out the ideas of others, unless they are part of your aspirations. You are comfortable working independently or occupying a leadership position.
Capricorn is an EARTH sign and this makes you realistic, practical and concrete. You will have a strong desire to accomplish material goals and need to feel that your career or enterprises permit you to grow a little more each year.
You are very responsible, industrious and tenacious. You are strong and independent and are able to make great efforts and sacrifices to reach your goals. Your realistic and practical sense of life permits you to solve many problems, and your deep and serious manner generates much confidence and respect from people around you. You have an innate ability to organize and direct people, but prefer to work alone. Life may bring difficulties and challenges for you, but also gives you the necessary strength to succeed in your endeavors.
You are traditional and conservative; you are not interested in attracting attention nor are you waiting for recognition for your efforts. You are the support of your family and the one who assumes the bulk of responsibilities. You are not likely to maintain a great social life, but have a protective and paternal attitude with your few friends; you offer yourself fully once a feeling of trust has developed. You have a firm mind and a difficult time changing your objective or opinions; your patience and perseverance is admirable.
You were born to impose order, to be organized and cautious, to observe procedures and traditions, to work arduously, to investigate, to teach and to educate. Your missions are to direct and guide weaker people, to assume responsibilities and to transmit safety and confidence to those who need it, to teach others to economize, to look at life with realism, to be practical, perfective, and mainly, to be persevering.
To evolve, your spirit needs to learn to relax, to enjoy life more, and to be less pessimistic or negative. You have to learn to demonstrate your affections and ideas more openly, and to overcome distrust or inner inhibitions. It will be necessary to conquer the inflexibility of your thoughts, the hatred, selfishness and the tendency to be fatalistic. Your excessive preoccupation with solutions for material things could lead you to neglect your spirituality and religious faith. You have to learn to delegate, to rely on others, and not to smother yourself with responsibilities that you assume.
See, this is where I got hooked, right off the bat, as I feel I am all these things - the good and the bad. I am totally the person who could become obsessed with procuring material things, even though I feel it runs counter to my inherently good intentions. And oooh, I'm not as good at asking for help, either. I have no qualms asking for it when it's something I absolutely have no clue doing, but if it's something that I think I could do better or on my own, then I'd rather drown than ask for help, which is stubborn and stupid and wears me out, I know, but I'm aware of this. And I DO need to learn to relax and enjoy life more, even though I don't think I'm pessimistic or overly negative. Still, I don't have nearly as much fun as I'd like to.
* * * * * * *
Li'l nugget: The profession you choose will have to encourage your independence, leadership, freedom, thrill of challenges and competitions; because of this you will have to avoid any sedentary, restrictive or very routine work.
Emotionally, I am:
Your emotions are filtered by your mind before they are expressed, which could make you cold, calculating or inhibited. You are very difficult to please and can adopt an obsessive or very criticizing attitude that doesn't allow you to freely enjoy your affections. You have a fear of failure and continually seek total safety and this leads you to restrain from demonstrating your affections and talents.
Subconsciously, you have a strong fear of expressing your own power. In previous lives you may have lived in poverty, disease or humility and because of this, you now have the need to find safety and protection from people around you. You are afraid of diseases and its consequences. On the other hand, you may have held positions of service, done healing and worked with patients or been a craftsman, and from thence originates your ability to see details, your need to make projects to perfection and to your requirements. You now have to seek an opening to your emotional world and to note the development and not the perfection. The profession you choose will have to satisfy your emotional need to find security, order and cleanliness. You need to feel useful to others and want to show your ability to serve. In the long run, you have a great need for recognition of your labor, but have difficulty making it count.
The best thing about this snippet, was the "in previous lives" part. Love that. Does one's childhood count as previous? Not that I was impoverished - far from it, but I certainly gleaned some humility from it that affects how I am living today. It was just so oddly put - in previous lives. And who is not afraid of disease?Crazy. I'm still chuckling about it. But oooh wee, this is me to a tee - I do think too much and I've never embraced failure. Mercy me, I do struggle with the perfectionism, even as I constantly tell myself, it doesn't have to be perfect, Danita, it's just a sketch; and I love me some details. Little things are important. Overall though, yes, because I think too much so much of the time, I'm often looking back wondering what it'd be like if I were more spontaneous with my affections instead of pondering if this is the right time to act up or out and worrying about how it'd be received ...
* * * * * * *
You have a very realistic, scientific and cautious mind. You probably won't make decisions very quickly, as you tend to study carefully all the necessary steps to take. You are a very good organizer and also a very good leader. You are more drawn to studies of concrete subjects that teach about life itself. Your analytical mind will register each detail in your excellent memory. You are not likely to fantasize, because your practical mind doesn't like to lose time on dreams. You are very self-disciplined and very responsible with your studies.
Your way of communicating could be limited, as you tend to be very reserved and serious. In spite of your seriousness, you have a sarcastic sense of humor, which will allow you to alleviate some of the tensions of your own responsibilities. You are conservative, traditional and inflexible as far as your ideas are concerned. You have great powers of concentration and will persevere toward your goals. You will have to learn to be less materialistic, dogmatic and distrustful.
I do take my time to think things through, even when I probably shouldn't. I disagree with teaching about concrete subjects, as I'm much more interested in what could be than what often is, so this also leads me to say that I fantasize often, even though I don't like losing time on dreams, I believe more so that dreams encourage me to be riskier than my cautious self would otherwise allow. Me, sarcastic? Nay. I also don't think I'm inflexible with regards to my ideas, if anything, I'm too ready to adapt to someone else's, but maybe that's just because I'm afraid of exercising my own power - even though I possess great powers to impose order, among other things.
* * * * * * *
But what does this all mean?
You have great ability to lead others and to excel in the professional arena. You are inclined to put a lot of energy into that and it will insure a brilliant career. You will always be in the eye of the public and are likely to become a socially renowned figure. If your activity is related to the law or to other executive positions, your future success could be lessened.
You are very proud, a bit arrogant and have strong material ambitions. You don't consider yourself accomplished unless you have reached a higher position. You will try to exceed your initial social position by reaching greater status and recognition. You will be very satisfied with your achievements. A competitive spirit, you achieve a secure and controlled foothold in your life in general.
There is a harmonious balance between your ego and your emotions. Your inner balance allows you to act calmly and moderately, and you are likely to attain the things you want without many problems. You are firm and sound in your decisions and are well suited for a profession in the public arena.
At least three people that I've spoken to in the last week or so have said, I'm such and such age, and here's what I have to show for it. I'm not one of those people, and it's not for the reason you may think. I don't deny that it bothers me that I technically don't have things to show for where I am - as it says above, I really don't consider myself accomplished until I've reached a higher position of some sort - but I also feel like a tree, where if you cut me open you'd see there was so much more, many more layers and rings that would account for so many other things. As it stands, the public arena? Socially renowned figure? Can I cash my paycheck now?
See? There's that materialistic bug gettin' ahead of itself, but seriously, this portion is a prelude to another part that hits the career nail on its head.
* * * * * * *
You have an optimistic attitude that will allow you to achieve your objectives without much effort (Note that earlier I believe I had a tendency to be pessimistic. Go figure. Here's where these things often get suspect.) You radiate happiness and enthusiasm, which will increase your popularity and the possibility of receiving favors from those who like you. You are inclined to be a bit lazy and are fond of comfort. (Oooh wee. They are wrong for that, loti.) Your optimism could cause you to take everything too lightly and to neglect the details. (No. I don't take anything too lightly, and I'm all about the details.) Regardless, a touch of luck will always be with you and help you to leap forward. (Um, okay. So maybe our definitions of luck differ or something. Whatever.)
You are likely to feel strong and unconquerable and never will resign or surrender to difficulties. You are tenacious and inflexible and want to handle everything yourself. (Amen.)
Your opinions are extreme, concrete and complete, and you don't like half-way measures. (Cue the Sinatra - All or nothing at all, people.) You tend to lose your patience easily, especially with those who can't keep up with your pace. (My mom walks slower now, and it annoys me. I used to pant to keep up with her, now I'm whirling around asking her constantly if she's alright. I know she can walk faster than that. Lollygagger.) You seek a profession where you can be in control, but your authority could be exaggerated and may turn into manipulation. (Heil! Or however you spell that. Remember, I have the power to impose order. Lol. I have the power. I am He-man.) Frequent fights or disputes over power are likely to occur in your place of work. Try to avoid violent, aggressive, impulsive and stubborn behavior. (Check.)
And now for a good golden nugget:
Throughout your life you will experience profound situations that will completely change the course that you had elected. (Say what?!) There could be changes in your profession, residence, country or affections. This is due to your tendency to be an extremist; when you want to change something, you change everything. (Seriously. That is me. I don't be half-assin'.)
* * * * * * *
More interesting stuff, as the following is quite true:
Your daily occupation is very important to you, and you are caring, sensitive and dedicated to your work. You are protective and very considerate of your co-workers or the personnel in your charge. (Unh huh.) Because of your great sensitivity, you may change jobs often. (Oh! So that's it, huh?) You try to find the warmth of your home in your occupational area. You could do very well in any industry serving the public or in activities related to medicine, diet or therapy.
Okay. So I stand by my college major and courses of study, and so maybe I just haven't found the right avenue just yet. Yeah, that makes me feel better. I was seriously wondering if I went to college just to say I went.
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This just keeps getting longer, but I figured I may as well post it all now. Take a snack break or something. Are you enjoying this, reader? This is much more thorough than knowing whether I like Coke or Pepsi and my favorite ice cream flavors, but I totally love those surveys, too. Anyway, did you know that I ...
... have a rapid, imaginative, intelligent and retentive mind. If your customary work is related to some intellectual pursuit, you will be very successful. Otherwise you will have to seek a way of using your mental abilities by studying or writing, etc. This astrological influence could bring many trips and the possibility of communicating fluently with others. You have much common sense and your emotions are not likely to obstruct your reasoning.
I realize that I write to escape somehow from the routine, to vent, and these are good reasons since they're therapies, but I think I've yet to create a structure for myself to allow me to write with a defined purpose, to tell the stories I want to tell. Maybe I just need a job as dull as all hell that doesn't sap my mental energy, something mindless ... I don't know what I'm saying, lost my train of thought.
You are good-humored and very popular. Loyal, honorable and honest, you are likely to have many friendships, especially with females. Thanks to your optimistic attitude, you will have much luck and success in general. (Okay, I guess.) You have the desire to expand your horizons in the material as well as spiritual spheres, which will cause you to study, work, travel and communicate with others. (Yay! These things sound much better than what I've managed to do so far. Yay future.) This astrological aspect is considered one of the luckiest and will offer you protection and the necessary help to overcome any crisis. If you are inclined toward a philanthropic activity, you could do great deeds for humanity. (Cue the We are the World, people.)
* * * * * * *
Love this part:
You are very receptive to everything that happens around you and could easily assimilate negative energy when you are confronted with stressful situations. (Oy.) You tend to be fearful and try to escape situations that frighten you. (I'm an emotional backpeddler.) If you don't acknowledge your own fears, you could be inclined to some type of vice or to work excessively. (Or both. Damn, I'm thirsty.)
You are very inspirational and have a natural ability for music. You also may be interested in mysterious and spiritual subjects.
I loved how they tossed that last bit in there. Oh, by the way, you're quite musical and have an affinity for the spiritual and mysterious realms. Why thank you. Thank you kindly. I'm an inspiration. Well idn't that speyshul?
* * * * * * *
You tend to neglect your creative abilities and your originality. (Um, yeah. My bad.) You are likely to be very dependent and unsure about expressing your opinions, especially when they are contrary to those of others or very fanciful. (So true.) You have to learn to show your opposition and also your most unusual side of your personality. (But how am I s'posed to do that, tottering on the edge of eager to please?) Totally complying with the rules and regulations could annul a large part of you. (This is true. I think about how much I hated not laughing more at Ruder Finn, and I think I got away with a lot of laughter, but seriously always wanted to play more. Maybe I just need to grow up.) You have to develop your creative and artistic ability and channel your inspiration more toward things that interest you without waiting for approval from others. (Yeah, I'm getting better at this. It takes practice.)
You could be drawn into serious problems due to the negative influence or dishonesty of some friend. You will have to avoid participating in very closed groups, political parties or groups that show fanaticism in their ideas, because later on you could find yourself committed to them and unable to avoid them. (Okay, so this is where the inflexibility could be an issue, I think, as I'm more likely to be loyal than to vocalize any opposition. Scary thought though, considering my all or nothing at all attitude.)
* * * * * * *
Things that make me say hmmm again: Your sense of expansion can conflict with certain limits and restrictions. You may have developed a constructive sense of duty, learning to assume responsibilities and making useful things for the world, and your material success is based on these principles. However, you can be quite shy and tend to dismiss your own abilities. (I do this even when the voice in my head is screaming not to. Ugh.) It is important that you learn to let your idealism develop freely and to rely on your own initiative. (See, that last bit, rely on your own initiative. Sound familiar? No wonder I'm always writing to thine own self be true. This is stuff that makes me love these report things.) You are comfortable working for others and fulfilling your duties. (I am.)
* * * * * * *
You are lucky to be able to choose your jobs, as work is always available to you and usually pays well. You have good organizational ability and get along well with your fellow workers. This astrological configuration favors working in a subordinate position and also the relationship to personnel and co-workers. Your material expansion is directly related to the development of your sense of service; the more useful you feel, the more money you earn. (Oh so that's it. I haven't felt useful enough yet. Okay. I can take that.)
You have the ability to organize and plan enterprises. Travel and any activity that helps to expand your mind is very rewarding for you. Communicating and learning foreign languages is easy for you. (Lisa. French class. Anyone? I need a conversation partner. Taylor, plan the trip. There'll be many trips of course, so I'm saying now that I look forward to these excursions. The rest of y'all, you know I need to get out more, and y'all all seem like the best of travel people.)
* * * * * * *
You are open, generous, self-confident and good at making decisions. Very energetic, you could excel in sports or follow a military career, though you may drive yourself excessively and become physically exhausted. Your restlessness and fearlessness enable you to take on any and all adversaries. (I am all these things, and again, I am He-Man. I have the power. Adversaries beware. Oh wait, I just caught that decision thing. I guess I'm good at making them ... provided that I ever get to the point of making them. I usually defer. Am scoffing/choking at the military bit, though. Ain't no way in this world. I should've played tennis as a youngster, I think. It really was the first sport I took up, well that and football.)
The inhibition principle affects your enthusiasm and enjoyment of work. You are hardworking and careful, with a moral and conscientious attitude. You perform with efficiency, accuracy and precision, pay attention to details and seek perfection in everything you do. You will have to develop a good sense of humor and try to overcome the tendency to worry. When you feel useful, your self-esteem will be increased. Because of your realistic and practical attitude, you may lack ideals and fantasies. From very early on you may have developed a strong sense of criticism toward others and yourself. You tend to condemn yourself for the mistakes you make, which could inhibit your ambition in the future. It is important that you learn to loosen up a bit, to permit yourself to make mistakes and to learn from them.
Oy. So true on ALL points. It's all about feeling useful, and I can honestly say I've not felt that yet, so that's a good sign that tells me that it's okay that I still haven't found what I'm looking for. I like that. Feeling better about that. I think I have developed a right lovely sense of humor, but the tendency to worry will always need work I think. And it's hard for me to get over myself when I make mistakes. Very hard, and I am critical. Umph. Need to work on that, too.
* * * * * * *
Oh, and this bit was just telling:
You are efficient, careful and reliable and tend to worry about your job (often much, much, much to my dismay!). You take everything seriously and sometimes feel that you are indispensable and push yourself at the cost of your health. Because of your great sense of responsibility, you don't enjoy life as much as others do. You are very demanding, and it isn't easy for you to find work that complies with all of your expectations. (No, it isn't.) Disagreements with your bosses or co-workers are likely. Your principal frustration will be that of not finding work that makes you completely happy. (OH MY LORD! Mmmm hmmm. That's right.) You can't imagine working and enjoying yourself at the same time, and will always have complaints about people or the job you perform. (Oy. I really can't imagine it. That doesn't mean that I don't believe and hope it to be possible, but I seriously cannot imagine what that's like. I think that's what makes it so hard for me to imagine myself as a writer. I feel like I'd almost have to hate it before I'd be any good at it, and the last thing I want to do is hate it, so here I am.) Regardless, in some companies you may be given great recognition of your ability and occupational response.
You have willpower, initiative and endless determination. You combine your practicality with intuition and need to work with freedom. You have a lot of common sense, good administrative ability, and you are persistent in your objectives. You are endowed with an inner balance between old and new, authority and your own freedom. You fulfill your duties with responsibility, but stress your own independence. You direct your creative energy efficiently and are likely to be a tenacious and hard worker.
Indeed. It's all about balance, and for the most part I think I handle aspects such as authority and autonomy well.
* * * * * * *
Although the world of business seems ideal for you, you also could earn money with projects related to land and cultivation or in something completely different such as arts and crafts.
You may spend a lot of money on comfort and luxuries. Though you have an inner confidence of always being able to overcome financial problems, you will have to learn to moderate and save to avoid future imbalances.
I guess that explains why at the end, the report said a career in agronomy would be good. I didn't even know what that was, but I guessed it had something to do with agriculture and that just made me howl. I mean, really. C'mon. Yay for arts & crafts. Loves the comfort!
* * * * * * *
The following affirms that I've not quite found what I'm happiest at doing. Not that we needed further affirmations, as I've always been quite (critically) clear, but it's interesting to see the word disillusioned, because I think that aptly describes the feeling I've felt on almost every job I had thus far.
Your work in relationship to your employment will be expressed through your creativity and great enthusiasm about your work. You are ambitious and want to progress, but are likely to seek approval and recognition from your superiors, which could bring disillusions if you don't receive it. You tend to impose your opinions and ideas on others, which could lead to some tension with your co-workers, if you don't have a leading position. You are charismatic and considerate of the people you work with. You express strong feelings and give encouragement to others, which makes you very popular. If you don't receive the comfort or emotional response you need in your place of work, you may change jobs several times in your life. This position favors contact with the public.
You are enthusiastic, optimistic and happy in your work place. You need to feel that your work will permit you to grow and to expand financially as well as intellectually, otherwise you will look for another job. (Light bulb again!) Because of your positive and happy attitude, you are very popular among your co-workers and bosses. You have a tendency to bite off more than you can chew, so try to avoid involving yourself with jobs that are beyond your ability. (um, yeah.)
You are very responsible and confident in your work. Your superiors as well as your co-workers will completely rely on you. You have ability to organize, direct others and you comply with the tasks that are entrusted to you. In spite of being very efficient, you never seem to be completely happy with the position you occupy, because you have an inner feeling that you could accomplish more. (Always the case.) You may become frustrated waiting for recognition. You have to increase the confidence in yourself and demand the remuneration you deserve according to the responsibilities you assume. (This is a weakness. I am so not good at doing this. Inherently it makes me so uncomfortable. Ugh. I get nauseous just thinking about it.)
* * * * * * *
Your favorite recreational activities will be those that bring you in touch with nature. You enjoy peaceful activities, a gentle or intimate retreat. Your pastimes may include: animal breeding, gardening, cooking etc. If you choose a sport, it will have to be peaceful such as boating or playing golf. You also enjoy working in your household. Your creativity will be stimulated by music. If you play a musical instrument, you will be able to channel and express your inspiration and emotional world. If you don't have any musical abilities, listening to music will help you to find peace and harmony.
Oh, so that's it. I need to dust off the harmonica or something ... buy some reeds for the saxophone - even though I am terrified at what that'll sound like. Lord. I wish I hadn't sold my viola though. I think the sounds of it would be much more in line with the peace and harmony, and much less likely to draw the ire of my mother who, I'm sure, is not up for a rebirth of loudly blown scales. A peaceful sport. What is that? I have wanted to learn to fly fish. Loves me some nature, and I am discovering that I'm a pretty good cook when I really think about it ... it's in the genes though. Now baking, I don't know about that, though. Haven't tried it, but the idea of it, the precision required, I'm not sure that I'm down for all that. I may be too much of a perfectionist I think. It'll just wear my brain out, all that measuring, and then if it comes out not just right, I'd be too pissed. I'm getting pissed just thinking about how I'd be pissed. Goodness.
* * * * * * *
Now for some truth and some hilarity:
Your destiny is likely to be full of difficulties and obstacles, however, this serves to stimulate your great tenacity and perseverance and eventually drives you to success.
Lately I have questioned God quite often as to why I'm being tested and why am I stuck and why does it seem that I've been stuck for quite some time. Taylor, I know you will feel this entirely, but I look around me at the rest of y'all and other people I know and it's hard for me not to wonder why things seem to just go so well for others while I feel like I'm always the one paddling doggedly with a hole in one's boat. So I'm tenacious and possess great powers of perseverance ... the eventually, I am learning to be more patient. Plain patient isn't so settling, so in true perfectionist mode, I'm aspiring for perfect patience - most patient.
You will excel on account of your own efforts.
Oh! This is excellent. This was actually the preview part which made me get this entire report. On Christmas Eve, my mom was flipping channels and she settled on T.D. Jakes and he was giving this sermon titled, 5 Points to Your Star, and just as she turned there he exclaimed, "Despise not the day of small beginnings," which was REALLY something since Kim had said the exact same thing earlier that day. Isn't God something sometimes? So, interest piqued, I leaned in for the rest of the teachin'. Loves me some teachin' y'all. Anyway, at one point he starts talking about how when you're successful, people will give you everything, but oftentimes when you're struggling, you can even ask and people will give you nothing, they will turn their backs. (Note: Obviously none of y'all apply. Thankfully!)
Anyway, he went on this preachin' spell of sorts where he took on the persona (for lack of better way of describing) of someone who'd made it, and he talked personally about how good it is when you have gotten to where you felt you'd always be, the good place, and how much greater the feeling was knowing you'd gotten there on your own. So he begins to say, "thank you for not helping me, for rejecting me, because if you'd helped me, then you could claim credit for who I am, but it's God who made me."
I completely identified with that because it's part of the reason I'm afraid to ask for help sometimes. I'm much more independent than I've ever realized, but I'm also much stronger than I could ever reveal because I have to be, because I want that feeling, to be accountable to no one else but God for the person that I am and shall become. It's not to say that I'm ungrateful because that is not it; whenever I ask for help, I sincerely need it and appreciate it more than I'm often able to express, but for one thing, I was raised always aware that my parents appeared to be anti-social because many of the people around them operate on a "let me know what you're up to so I can choose to help you or hinder you" mode. In short, they're not the greatest and sincerest of people, and my mom and dad were always chiefly aware of this, and it's unfortunate to be surrounded by folk like that I think, because it breeds a certain distrust which can permeate your relationships with other people (and it has for them both). Subsequently, Kim and I are the same way, we keep our distance. Not because we don't care how you are, but it allows us to stay safe. I don't want to be anymore up in your business than I want you in mine, because if some shit goes down and it's my fault, I don't want to hear anyone say I told you so or look at what you've done, because no one's more aware or harder on me than myself; if some shit goes down that ain't my fault, I really can't take another instance where someone sighs and says, I'd help you, but ... All this aside, that portion of the sermon steeled my resolve; it's why I reserve parts of myself because all or nothing at all, wherever I get, whatever success I eventually achieve and whenever I get there, I won't be satisfied with myself unless I know I did it for me and I did it on my own, by my own principles and drive. It's not to say I don't need and welcome aid, encouragement and moral, emotional support and editing or whatever, because I most certainly do, but do y'all get what I'm saying? I hope I'm not being too contradictory. Anyway, I had to share that bit.
Your spirit of sacrifice will make you study, work and then succeed. The second half of your life will be quieter and more comfortable; you will have a lot of experience and wisdom. (Good lord. It's like I want to ask when the second half starts, but I'd also like to live awhile, so I don't exactly want that to be right now, loti, but still, man how much longer?) Your destiny will not include sudden achievements or strokes of luck. (See? This seems more likely, since I've never felt lucky and nothing ever just so happens achievement wise. I am the tortoise.) Everything will be achieved little by little with a lot of effort and struggle. (Slow and steady wins the race!) You are interested in the sciences in general, excelling in mathematics or physics. (Oh dear me. I accept this only because they said "interested." I do find these things interesting. I was kick ass at some mad minutes, so I'll count that as the extent of my excelling in mathematics, and physics ... I can't even stop myself from laughing at that, so you all feel free to join in.)
You also have a great love of nature and enjoy being outdoors in touch with the earth and fresh air. (I do. I miss camp. A lot.) You have a strong vitality and treat each obstacle as a personal challenge. You have noble and firm principles and enjoy places and people representing discipline and authority. It is important for you to feel free to pursue your goals; your family as well as your marriage must not become a burden for you. (Amen to that. I think that's the whole thing about marriage that scares me most - getting stuck. I don't do stuck well. I squirm. I'm squirming now, but the idea of having to squirm with someone else makes me ponder that institution, and it's not to say that we'll obviously be squirming, but of course, that's reality, there'll be moments where we probably will. I digress, what I'm talking about is how folk get stuck and start claiming shit like, I just don't know you anymore, you're not the same person, yada yada. See, I really don't accept those claims anyhow because I believe we're everchanging, so I wouldn't expect anyone to be the same exact person, but this whole subject is just too complex for me to get into right now. Just felt like sharing my agreement with the marriage must not become a burden. I don't know why this is, but if it's one thing that I believe marriage must never be it's a game and a burden.
Your career choice could be one of the following professions: agronomy, geology, forestry, systems analysis, accounting, politics, corporate administration, physics, chemistry, or any other science or profession where you could exercise your authority and tenacity.
Five damn strike outs and then politics, which I have been counseled previously to avoid as it may limit my abilities, and I totally believe that to be true, as I like to tell the truth and I don't know if you can get away with that happily in this country. Corporate administration is a possibility, and again, I just automatically start laughing when I see the word physics. Are you kidding me? Seriously. Chemistry. I admit I loved it. Should've applied myself more, but it's not my calling. I'm a disaster in that lab, for the same reasons that I don't think I'd be a great baker. Any other science. Shit. Stop playin'.
You are likely to change jobs many times in your life and probably will have more than one job at a time. (Nice, eh?) Your career is very important to you, and you are attracted to politics, intellectual occupations, literary or commercial fields or any activity that puts you in touch with the public. (I totally agree with this. I don't know where that science crap came from.) You are very good at communicating your own ideas and could excel as a speaker. Your always sharp and active mind enables you to organize and handle people. In order to achieve your goals, you could become overambitious or even selfish. You can excel in any profession you choose because of your intelligence and wealth of ideas.
Professions ruled by Capricorn: political career or the military, administrative positions of responsibility, minister, diplomat, manager, investigator, mathematician, computer programmer, engineer, doctor, dentist, architect, and all occupations that require perseverance and patience, routine and organization. Minister. The thought scares me. Diplomat. I think that'd be fun. Computer programmer, hell naw. I get too frustrated and would just chuck shit out the window. I think writing requires perseverance, patience, routine and organization. Good stuff. Wonder why that wasn't included.
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Okay gang. That's it. I know that was quite a read, but I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. I needed a place to save it where I knew it was likely that I'd revisit it often enough to be reminded.