Umpteen is the number of times I heard Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" last week. Seriously? They played it so often on a series of stations that at one point I wondered if Alabama had become less sweet or something and somehow people needed to be reminded. I know I did encounter some not-so-sweet tea at one point and that was disappointing; in my mind I went to Carolina, where the tea is both fresh and sweet. Still, Alabama was a fun time. Umpteen is the number of times I shouted "NO. LICK. Summer! NO! No. No lick!" to my sister's adorable German Shepherd/Labrador mix. Umpteen is the number of times I was of course licked and pounced upon:
However, my umpteens were greatly limited when it came to scoopin' the poop. I did that mess for two days and then that was it. My gag reflex can only take so much.
Kim and I have our pastimes. We can spend hours roaming car lots comparing features, weighing the pros and cons of the designs and which days of the week we'd drive our Audis, Mercedes and pickup trucks. Every visit now features a trip to IHOP. That's something that we started nearly 25 years ago when I was her get-out-of-the-house-take-the-car-and-the-kid card. We'd go to the movies or to my favorite place in the entire world, Showbiz, and then we'd wind down the evening with a trip to Denny's so I could enjoy me some Moons Over My Hammy! (We replaced Denny's with IHOP and the Rooty Tooty Fresh 'n Fruity.)
Another one of our "things" features us acting silly in public. We do this by adopting old lady voices and commentating on people and things we see in the voice of our mother. Say you see a girl with super short shorts on sashaying through the mall. The exchange would go as follows:
K: Umph. Now she knows those shorts are too short for her little hot behind. D: Mmmmmhm, bebbe. These hot girls just runnin' around here with they little fast behinds. Need to sit down somewhere. Don't nobody want to see all that tail. K: You got that right! And she looks like she needs to wash. Stankin' tail.
"Needs to wash" was seriously our mother's go-to phrase for about 5 years running. She started using it right around the time when Wreckx-N-Effect's "Rumpshaker" video came out and all those "funky lookin' tails" were "gyratin' all over the damn place."
Another time we got swept away by Billy Ocean's "There'll Be Sad Songs" in K-Mart. Mags walked away from us shaking her head acting like we don't look just like her.
Then last week, Mags finally joined in on the irresistible fun of our most recent favorite pastime - tryin' on church lady hats in department stores!
One of the things I love about my mother is how prim she gets, holding her purse like the Queen of England. These were taken on her 60th birthday, and for me and Kim, they now serve as hallmark moments in a very blessed lady's life. (Please note that I'm not even 30 and have more wrinkles on my face than she does.)
But isn't she beautiful?
I love her for umpteen reasons - Jackie O'ing it out in Dillard's. Good times in sweet, almost like home, Alabama.