Thanks for seein' about a girl, friend. here's where I'm writing my own history—for you, for me and anyone else who needs to laugh to keep from cryin' every once in awhile.

Me timbers be shivered.

My pirate name is:
Mad Charity Cash

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You're musical, and you've got a certain style if not flair. You'll do just fine. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
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In the wake of all these spoiler attempts ...

This survey's evaluator was clearly drinking when my results were tabulated ...