Well you know. It’s me ... again. And I realize that I sent this via e-mail, but I'm also posting it in the event I accidentally delete it from my e-mail account, because this happens often enough. Anyway, this isn’t a “getting to know you” survey, really. This is just a compilation of 20 rather random things that I thought about during the course of my morning and I decided to turn them into survey questions.

1. What is your favorite piece of furniture and why?

Chaise lounge b.c secretly I aspire to be Golden Girl Blanche Devereaux – complete with filly frou frou robe – and I wish to lounge all the day long in silken fabrics with pedicured feet propped just so … in a chaise where I can both sit upright or lie back and lounge at my choosing. I am tired of having to adjust the ottoman, or make an ottoman out of my hard coffee table. Peel me a grape and buy me a chaise … (don’t worry. I know you like it, so you’ll see that again in just a bit below.)

 

2. The first song you heard this morning was …?

Mayer – Stop This Train … to which I stretched and thought, “For real. I want to get off and go back again, too, Johnny. I feel like age is a madly burning building eating me alive and my youth, oh fleeting, passing youth, is trapped inside. I want to go in and rescue it, but the world says, ‘No. keep running.’ And all I want to do is just go back in and get my youth. I’m too old to have to work for a living. I want to lead the glamorous life …” which was the next song in my playlist. (Don’t you love how I talk back to and with John on that radio Continuum cd? I love that.)

 

3. Do you floss?

Yes. I just started doing it again in an effort to prolong my life … which is probably just so I can have more years to work and survive on my paycheck-to-paycheck status. Anyways, I do floss. I love those nifty floss pick thingies. Of course, as Rachel and I discussed earlier, the problem with flossing is that you have to keep it up. You can’t just do it on occasion, no. I flossed two days in a row and suddenly it’s like the spaces between my teeth – and there are spaces – have suddenly morphed into individual vacuums sucking in any and all particles in an effort to make me have to floss again. I have had to add another 5 minutes to my getting ready schedule because of flossing alone. Which means I can only hit the snooze button like 4 times, as opposed to my favorite number, 5. But my gums are all the better for it. Gingivitis, get thee away.

 

4. Most annoying celebrity today is _____ and why?

Hmmm, so many from which to choose, but I’m going to stick with the one who’s been drawing the majority of my ire as of late and that’ll be Jesshalee Simpson. They’re the same person. One is just trying to look and be like the other, but I am tired of hearing their yelling, disguised as slickly produced singing, I am tired of seeing their cheeky, neck-jaw popped out smiley hands-on-hips poses and I am tired of the this-week-I-don’t-want-to-be-seen-brown-hair followed by the hey-y’all-it’s-me-again blonde skank extension appearances.

 

5. Favorite gum?

Orbit – Sweet Mint, the light green package. B.c it’s fabulous.

 

6. If you could buy one classic car, what kind would it be?

An Aston Martin from the 60s – any year will do – because I aspire to be shaken, but not stirred.

 

7. If you got a free movie pass this week, what would you go see?

Borat - Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan … because that title. Cracks. Me. Up. Somethin’ fierce!

 

8. Do you have a lunch buddy (because I don’t and today that stinks, which is why you’re getting this stellar survey)?

 

 

9. If you were in a band, what instruments would you play?

I would be the pianist/keyboardist, with some viola, sax and harmonica, when the song called for it …and duh. Background vocals.

 

10. a) While we’re at it, what’s the band’s name?

I don’t even know why I asked this because I can’t even think of a good name … I had one for the longest time, but I’ve since forgotten it. Typical. Now if you want a lame band name, I’ve got the perfect one – Amoeba. And that’s because you could be everything and anything the record company wants, you don’t have a shape therefore you cannot fit into any one genre box.

 

b) What would the title of your first single be?

Peel me a grape and buy me a chaise – I will specialize in old standards, but with a twist.

 

11. Least favorite genre of music:

Hard rock. If it has some lead singer dude that sounds like he’s scraping off the part of his voice box closest to his adam’s apple full throttle for at least 2.5 minutes then I’m going to hate it. I don’t care how cool you think strobe lights are, or how awesome those guitar riffs are or how hard that bass drives, I’m going to ball my fists in a serious urge against jabbing whatever is within arm reach. And it’s going to be very, very hard for me to do.

 

12. What did you think first thing this morning?

“It’s not 6 o’clock in the morning. It’s too bright outside. (Looked at the gleaming red devil numbers that confirmed that yes, it was in fact 6:10 a.m.) Stupid clock. Stupid sun. Stupid blinds not doing their job to BLIND the sun. Oh well.”

 

13. Ideal foreign destination:

London

 

14. Ideal domestic vacation destination:

Home. For like, 10 days.

 

15. If money and the possibility of addiction to painkillers were no option, would you have liposuction? On which body part?

I’m only asking this because I ate too much for lunch and I am feeling it now, so obviously I’d vote for my gut and its counterpart, which you’d think would be my butt, but is actually just what used to be known as my back.

 

16. Favorite old time Hollywood actor & actress:

Cary Grant & Katharine Hepburn

 

17. Song o’ the day:

The Rolling Stones – Beast of Burden

 

18. Mondays – Manic or a gentle, never-ending malaise (melancholy)?

A malaise for me as it’s just the beginning of my quest for the weekend. Mondays wash over me gently, beginning in the morning when the work week seems to lap at my ankles like the tide early in the morning, and slowly as the day progresses the water rises as I sink into the familiar desperation that says yes, there are four more days to go, but actually five because this one is only beginning … and by Monday’s end I am already floating, barely bobbing along, waiting for the high ripping tide that is sure to be Tuesday … followed by Tuesday’s backwash, which is just Wednesday … followed by the tender carriage back to shore on Thursday and following that, the fantastic land ashore sighting that’s really my Friday euphoria.

 

19. Little cabin in the woods or deluxe apartment in the sky?

Cabin. I’d even take the unabomberman’s because it looked peaceful enough really … apart from all the crap he had in it, but still … even that would suffice. I just need a place to hunker down and hibernate.

 

20. Do you have a survey you can send me … please … loti.