Thanks for seein' about a girl, friend. here's where I'm writing my own history—for you, for me and anyone else who needs to laugh to keep from cryin' every once in awhile.

Idol chit-chat.

In order of appearance: 1. Mandisa. Marvelous.

- Mandisa is just magnificent. She really could sing anything and I'd totally buy it. Plus, she's gorgeous and is mad representing for all the all-women out there. Just bodacious.

2. Bucky. Busted.

- They give Bucky props for great song choice. Simon says it's a "so what" performance, and anglophilia notwithstanding, it is one more reason why I just love Simon.

3. Paris. Precocious.

- Somebody has got to talk to that chile's hairdresser. Please. Besides her tendency to be overexuberant, it's the one thing that just isn't working for me. Ever. She always winds up looking too affected, like a dollar store babydoll. A bit too done and trite.

4. Chris. Contender.

- It's not that I want him to suck, because I don't, but I'm so American (in that crabs in a barrel sort of way) that I feel his consistency could get boring. However I have to say that his song choices and stylings - it's just really refreshing to witness someone do their own damn thing. The only thing I do wonder is that if he stays in it for the long AI haul, doesn't that, like, diminish his rocker credibility? I mean, alternative, is uh, not mainstream, so I feel like he'd be better off geting punted now in order to stay true to those authentic roots of his, but he's committed and is good for the competition so naturally he's not going anywhere.

5. Katharine. Killer.

- Okay. Come Rain or Come Shine. Damn, I love that song and am cueing up B.B.'s version right now. She and Mandisa are just bringin' it for the girls in my opinion. I really like Katharine though; she's fun.

6. Taylor. Tic-a-riffic.

- Say what you want. He is odd, but he's great entertainment on this show. Barry Manilow said he had the "whiskey tenor," and I like that. Plus he has invested in some fine tailoring services which is mighty fine. Of course, the excited white boy hop was starting to look a bit pee-pee dance-ish tonight, but his energy is so good!

7. Lisa. Likable.

- She is so Tracie Spencer re-incarnated. Tracie won Star Search back in the day, remade Lennon's "Imagine," and had these other songs, "Tender Kisses," and "This House." Anyway, the thing that gets me about Lisa is how she always sounds like just right offbeat, like a sixteenth of a beat behind the actual music. Plus tonight, she just sounded a bit strained. "Why Do Fools Fall In Love?" has such a fun, lightness to it, and while she looked young (because she is) she didn't sound it.

8. Kevin. Corny, but with a "K."

- We are totally trapped in a high school talent show everytime he sings. Bugh. Plus, he really looks like Chicken Little and he blinks those hard, quick blinks that look a lot like someone bullied him constantly into flinching a lot.

9. Elliott. Enchanting.

- I just love the tone of his voice. It's rich like some butterscotch - just smooth and really sweet. Plus, I loved his song choice tonight, too.

10. Kellie. Kuntry (Seriously need to expand my "K" vocabulary.)

- Kellie Piiickler is frum Norrth Karuhlina and yew kin heer it iyin evury sangle note she sangs. I ain't mad at her, though. Happy to have some talented Southern representation, but she's just aight for me. I'm not knocked out, and the cute, ditzy blonde I'm-just-a-country-girl thing ... I guess since I grew up with so many of those girls, I don't find it to be as cute as everyone else is thinkin' it is.

11. Ace. Alright.

- Ace just has a fantastic smile, and he works the devil out of that falsetto, which is so nice. It suits him like a sharp coat. There are notes in his singing though and that constant, practiced stare that bring him so close to being the hot guy that can sing.

So the rankings - the first person listed is the first person out on the end of that damn plank. These are based on tonight's performances:

Bucky, Kevin, Lisa, Kellie, Ace, Paris, Taylor, Chris, Elliott, Katharine and Mandisa.

Keep scrollin' for the double header :)

Things.

We girls & a bit more on me.