My mouth keeps getting fouler. I talk like I'm constantly planted on a street corner, shootin' the jive with a nice, brown paper package clenched in my right hand gesturing at passers-by. Giving how much I'm making, I'm not too far from a street corner I don't think. At any rate, a stranger spoke at me as I was walking home today and I really had to catch myself. Everybody doesn't know I'm joking when I channel Samuel L. Jackson, with my face all jacked up lookin' half crazy. Instead I just stared blankly, but I know my lips formed a curt, "mother" before I realized that I may look half crazy, but folks in New York are the real deal - like straight up Bull Street on every street at any given moment of the day.
Walkin' on home I wondered to myself, girl, what's going on? You cussin' like your life depends on it, like you're getting paid for it, like you run the risk of having your four-letter-word cool card revoked at any moment. For the most part, I think it's funny, these curse words, but only when used effectively, and naturally, I like to think I'm commanding quality use of these words.
I don't employ four-letter specials as articles or prepositions, but they are certainly (as well cited in an early Tom Wolfe-inspired post) nouns, adjectives, verbs in all forms ... I'm not big on dissecting sentences anymore so I forget all the ways I could use these things. The point is, when I spit it, it's not as if you could miss the point. And there is a point. In the spoken world, where I am just talking in voices of various pitches and intonations, cuss words are my punctuations. They cause pause like commas, invoke excitement, declare, question and proclaim. Yeah, it's punctuation you can hear ...
In my head, though, it's a much more profane world. I pepper these internal observations like a chef who just discovered salt - a little sprig here, a dash there, lemme toss some over my shoulder and voila! We've got flavor. That's how I like to think of cuss words, as flavor.
If cuss words were actual spices/flavorin's, what would they be? I think a matching game would be funny. So whip out your finger - the middle one if you must - and do some pointin' and matchin'. Send me your answers. No, the winner won't get cussed out, but you will get another post ...
1. M***** f***** 2. S*** 3. D*** 4. A** 5. Plain ol' f***
a. cayenne pepper b. cumin c. curry d. salt e. paprika
Now we're cookin' ;)