"But we writers are scarred, and searching." ~ Martha Southgate, a writer.
Well I must be a writer, right? Because if this were somehow re-phrased as a question: Are you searching? Are you scarred, perhaps? Then on both accounts I would nod an eager and relief-seeking yes!
Lately, at least two dear friends of mine have written about this e-journaling business. Both of them have said something like the following:
- Hey, it's my journal. I didn't ask you to read it.
- I write here because I can, not necessarily because I think I'm hella interesting or prolific.
I mean, I agree with that and all, and maybe this is just the narcissist in me, but I think we write here because we feel in some sacred part of ourselves that we actually are interesting, and at times, prolific.
What is interesting about us journaling? Well, I sense that the reticence with which we all express our emotions and opinions when we’re face to face subsides here in these pages. And that, I believe, incrementally is helping us to become more honest and conscientious people. I mean look at how well we note and applaud each other’s styles, how we hearken (harken) each other’s nuances and thoughtfulness. Think about how when we read something someone else has written, whether it’s a published and revered author or not, we feel spurred or inspired and we come to these spaces and say what’s on our minds.
Sure, it’s certainly a blessing to have the means and the freedom to voice our opinions and such, but we shouldn’t just rest on that alone. We are all searching for various things, and through these journaling exercises we are able to flex some muscles that will not only make our own minds and senses of self stronger, but perhaps they will also strengthen the relationships that we seek and covet.
It takes courage to push yourself to places that you have never been before, to test your limits, to break through barriers. And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin
This is my most favorite quote because everyday I feel like it signifies where I am mentally in my quest to be everything I think I can be. We all long for meaningful, irreplaceable and nourishing relationships, and going to new places, testing personal limits and breaking through barriers (many of which are self-imposed) does take courage and conviction – neither of which any of you who read this are lacking ;)
To further my point, the following is from someone who, thankfully, has a lid upon their head: “…if we could talk to the people around us like we would if they were in our heads, with complete honesty but at the same time, with complete understanding - but importantly acceptance - of each other's faults... how we'd have much more meaningful relationships because we could get past all the bullshit we put up front to protect ourselves.”
This sacred part of ourselves may very well be what’s behind the shullbit walls we erect for ourselves to protect us from embarrassment, retaliation and the pain that is just life at times.
What could any of us ever say that could possibly be prolific? Well, “lid upon,” though she may (or may not, as she too could secretly be as narcissistic as me - she's certainly as competitive on game nights!) sheepishly deny it, fortunately keeps her well well stocked with thoughtful profferings. But we all are constantly adding to the discourse of our respective friendships whenever we put here what a phone call couldn’t account for or what distances won’t permit. It’s like in addition to pleading, “Are you there God? It’s me ___________,” we’re also saying “C’mon y’all, I know somebody has to know what I’m saying.” And that’s important.
The sheer breadth with which we seek to explain our inner ramblings and our annoyances and wishes is prolific by itself because it shows us that not only are we not alone, but we are all a part of the same journey – the journey to becoming our greatest, most desirable, most fabulous selves. And there’s no better way to get by than with a little help from our friends.
- Someone will always know that life is good because of you and that someone will always be me… May you always know how appreciated you are. May you never forget what a blessing you’ve become to a world that could use more people like you. (Taken from a greeting card)
- Knowing we are loved may be the key to our doing the things we fear. (Anonymous)