Thanks for seein' about a girl, friend. here's where I'm writing my own history—for you, for me and anyone else who needs to laugh to keep from cryin' every once in awhile.

I feel it in ma finguhs...

16 november 2004 Okay, I commence to give you all a rambling of observations, as I am bored today and you all have jobs and I am in pretend mode. Don't you miss pretending? I don't, because fortunately I have the luxury of doing so as we speak and you know what? During my TV channeling (which I liken to chronicling, and you may call surfing) King Friday just made a balcony appearance! Now if that isn't the Lord saying you are where you need to be right now, well I just tell you what, I don't know. A-man? A-men.

You see, right now as you all are working, I am pretending that this is work, too. This helps to set up my writing regime by adding a dose of discipline. Sometimes we have to TRICK ourselves into doing the very things we dare not do. Coincidentally, I also get paid today, and in Atinad the currency is naps (symbol = z). That's right suckas! And I. Am. A. Very. Rich. Woman.

Now, don't you worry, all you Real Worlders out there. While I dwell infinitely in possibility, I also realize that Atinad (pop. 1) is a very small princess-a-pality and so my borders remain open and I am all for FREE trade =) I know what's going on in the world. I just don't understand it.

Has anyone been watching “er”? Do you still watch it? I do (although with Carter leaving, I may fall off the wagon altogether...). Anyway, did anyone see the episode where Neela (the Indian girl from Bend It Like Beckham - fantastic movie, by the way!) went job hunting? She is uber-smart in her field but just so happens to be unqualified practically everywhere else? Yeaaaaaaah. That is me. Right now. I love her for representing the real people out here. That's what we need, real representation; I'd vote for her!

Anyway, I'd like to take a moment to point out to you that there is a difference between personality and temperament. I am naturally a very reserved, shy person; I have reclusive tendencies, tend to dwell in my own thoughts and dreams a lot and am perfectly fine with being left alone. Certainly there are probably roots of this behavior lodged somewhere in my childhood, but that is for another post I think. Anyway, most of you probably scoff at this, but I think you can definitely see the traces of it. I know I can be outgoing, gregarious and loud but seriously, how outgoing do you have to be among people you already count as friends? Besides, I don't think too many of you would disagree with me when I say that my sense of humor is largely a defense/coping mechanism. We all have them, mine is just more, um, well-oiled than other people's?

However, I don't think many people in positions to hire folk make the distinction between temperament and personality. Over and over again I have recently been told that I would kick ass in sales; I'd be rich in no time, all signs point to it, etc. etc. etc. (NOTE: Re-watch the King and I! Yay, I fancy me some Yul Brenner!) But I do not possess a sales temperament. I think there are other ways to be a go-getter, is what I'm trying to say. My resume is viewed and people immediately say one or all of the following: Wow, you're a Type A personality all the way! (Is that a good thing or what?) Um, you're an over-achiever. Didja sleep any in college? (Firstly, I tend to think the wow and um should be switched. Secondly, I slept a whole lot in college. In fact I think the word you were looking for was party instead of sleep. I didn't party much. Five points is a fab locale, but for the most part, it's not really my scene. I’m a chill person, remember?)

At any rate, I have a pretty good grasp on what my strengths and weaknesses are, what I'm capable of, etc. I'm not as sure as to what I want to do, but I keep reading that this particular want could change 3 to maybe 7 times in my lifetime, so I'm not nailing anything down just yet.

So to sum that part of the ramble up, the job search is going, but uh, it's feeling more like a roller rink right now than a stroll in the park.

Okay, so this is a ramble and I'm moving on. For the record, ramble and random are one and the same here. Hello! Thanksgiving is next week! Am I crazy or does anyone else recall a time when Christmas music wasn't played until the night of Thanksgiving on up til the big day? Maybe that was just in my house and my parents' cars, where the environment was a bit more controlled. Nevertheless, I didn't even get the good dust off Monster Mash before I was bombarded with sweet silver bells ring-a-ling a-ringing.

Um, I love me some Christmas music (well, some of it) just like the rest of all ye faithful ones, but this is ridiculous. And errybody has a Christmas album. I heard Kelly Clarkson singing my favorite, O Holy Night, and she can sing and all, but why does everything have to be made over?! If my house is falling apart, fine. Make that shiz over. My wardrobe is dated and drab. Hand me the check and make me over. Butcha can’t mess with perfection, people! Whatever happened to “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?!” Ain’t nothing wrong with BING CROSBY!

I'm sorry, but errybody can't (and shouldn't) do Christmas. I say this particularly to those who have a "new take" on our Christmas classics. I love ALL types of music, and believe me, being an interpretive person myself, normally I am all for some wheel reinventing, but too much is made of Christmas as it is. So much reality is lost this time of year for the sake of so many things, and I’m just sorry, but under no circumstances should anyone affiliated with hip hop/rap be doing Christmas songs. I can’t call to mind anything particular, but I’d just like to point out that a rapper’s ho’s are different from Kris Kringle’s ho’s. Call me a strict Christmas constitutionalist, a conservative if you dare, but I believe the following (with few, if any, exceptions) stand alone. Please add to my list as I'm sure to forget mentioning a few notables as I am not yet tapping into the Christmas spirit.

I say White Christmas, you (should) say Bing Crosby. Snowmen are frosty, the best crystals are made by Swarovski =) (sorry! Just felt like rhyming!) I say Silent Night, you should say The Temptations; no one else gives peace such a heavenly recommendation. When chestnuts are roasting on an open fire, the one and only Nat King Cole should be your soul's desire. When all you want for Christmas is one person's affection, might I suggest Mariah Carey? she seems to provide glowing direction. And pardon me, but the simple fact is: it’s only the most wonderful time of the year the moment you hear Johnny Mathis. O Holy Night is my greatest holiday delight, and though she’s gotten a few things wrong over the years, Mariah does this one just right.

And I may be wrong for this, but I’m going to go ahead and say it: MJ has been a perv in the making, ain’t no use in my not proclaiming it. Long before he touched some boys, bleached his skin and covered his face in gauze, he was the sweetest little peeper who ever spied mommy kissing Santa Claus! I mean, when else would you hear Burl Ives, but at this time of the year, taking us all back to our childhoods on a memory’s sleigh crooning about Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. Yo, crack might be whack, but Whitney shoal can spread good cheer! I don’t know all about you, but I love it when home girl sings, “Do you hear what I hear?”

Of course I could go on, but that would cause this to get too long. Besides it’s too early for Danita, Christmas I cannot yet do; it’ll just zap my zesty spirit and leave my season Elvis blue.

I know you, but do I KNOW you?

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