Thanks for seein' about a girl, friend. here's where I'm writing my own history—for you, for me and anyone else who needs to laugh to keep from cryin' every once in awhile.

Young Folk

Last night I discovered that Diablo Cody, writer of the snarky and sweet Juno, has set her sights on making a film adaptation of Francine Pascal's beloved Sweet Valley High series. That's right - beloved. Yeah I said it, and I am not ashamed to re-declare my diehard devotion to Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield. Back in the day I skipped over The Babysitter's Club as this series conflicted with my love of the The Boxcar Children and Encyclopedia Brown -well encyclopedias in general really. Plus, having watched Adventures in Babysitting and Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead I figured I had babysitting covered. I also had no one to babysit, and this final fact sealed my disinterest as I figured I couldn't relate to babysitters, but rich, white, blonde-haired Valley girls? Oh yeah. I was all over that.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking, but remember that sometimes "Imagination is more important than knowledge." Plus, I had long followed the Reading Rainbow creed: you take a look, it's in a book, you can go anywhere and you can be anything - especially if you have a nice, big yellow towel and some bobby pins to affix the "glowing mane" to your head. (And if you don't know what I'm talking about with the towel thing, which why would you?! If you're reading this you're most likely white! Anyway, ask Whoopi Goldberg about it.)

I mean, I was so into those books that in eighth grade I turned in a book report chronicling the trials and sunshiny triumphs of Sweet Valley High. I actually remember being rather pleased with my effort, too. I'm pretty sure I even sketched a cover for the report, my own special edition of a SVH cover. I was certain Mrs. Hicks would appreciate how I melded art and English together given her status as artist and English teacher. But I was wrong because I had apparently forgotten that I was in Honors English. Given how I despised receiving grades other than the letter A, I probably should've stuck with my backup and reported on Proust.

Nevertheless I followed the Wakefield twins all the way to Sweet Valley University, which unfortunately coincided with my entrance into high school where I quickly discovered that there was no Todd Wilkins in my future and Valley girl accents had gone the way of Southern twang and drawl and oh yeah, that black dot in the white crowd thing. But reading that headline about Diablo Cody brought those memories right back and now I can't wait to check out this film.

So yeah, that's me in a nutshell today. In less than 4 months I will turn 30 and in 2010 I'm looking forward to having a butterbeer at the Harry Potter theme park, shushing children and obnoxious ringing phones in the theater at the next Harry Potter movie, returning to summer camp (Happy (early) Anniversary Glen Arden!) and the return of Sweet Valley High.

Maybe I'll just look at it as I'm just 10 ... times three.

And three is a magic number. The past and the present and the future. Faith and Hope and Charity. The heart and the brain and the body, give you three as a magic number ...

Iron Mike is Honest Mike

Purgatory is an 8x6 Cubicle