Thanks for seein' about a girl, friend. here's where I'm writing my own history—for you, for me and anyone else who needs to laugh to keep from cryin' every once in awhile.

You Know, Something About Him Is Just Off ...

Uh, this morning I was listening to The Today Show and they started talking about the craigslist killer and I made a note to myself not to befriend or become romantically involved with anyone whose name contains the word "off." Markoff? Do just that and mark him off your list. Either that or he's going to mark you off so it's better to be safe than sorry. Lately I've been reading articles encouraging people to trust their intuition. Well, with names like these you don't even have to question yourself. They've already spelled it out for you. How easy is that?

Madoff? Stay away from him because if you don't, years from now we'll be referring to him as the one who done made off with your money, your best friend, your dog, your sanity, whatever.

I'm sure there are others, but no PSA can cover everything at once. Consider yourselves warned.

The State of My Union Address

The Line