Thanks for seein' about a girl, friend. here's where I'm writing my own history—for you, for me and anyone else who needs to laugh to keep from cryin' every once in awhile.

What I plan to do with my $250 million

That's right. You read it here first, I'm staking my claim to the lotto winnings and am giving you a map upon which you can track my forthcoming adventures. (Don't worry chi'ren, you'll all receive postcards.)

Without further ado, I give to you –

Rich girl runneth

Like a ghost – I’m gonna disappear, haunting you with my hallowed howl of jubilation

Like a hyena – You’ll still hear me laughing as if you’d just whispered Mufasa in my ear

Like it’s 1999 – You’ll catch me partying, mainly dancin’, here (NYC), there (Ibiza perhaps?) and everywhere (hell, I might just buy a boat and keep the party floatin’)

Like a rapper to a freshly-inked deal or a footballer to the draft – I’m buyin’ my mama the house of her dreams

Like I’m ‘on drive every single day of the week – Seven vehicles so fine in which I’m to ride

Like I’m having a midlife crisis – Early

Like, I’m totally tired of workin’ – My ass is on vacation

Like I’m Carmen Sandiego – I will sneak around the world from Kiev to Carolina

Like I’ve wanted – I shall sit at sidewalk cafes in Paris, pubs in London, atop hills alive with the sound of music, in the setting suns of Africa, upon beaches in the sea’s breeze and on porches complete with swings … and I shall write without worry or pause. I shall write just because …

Like a good neighbor – If you ask me for a cup of sugar, a couple dollars or the shirt off my back, I’ll still be there for you

Like the good heart I’ve got – I’ll do my best to help those in need and to teach because I love to share and see kids learn

Like I’ve got some sense – I’m gonna buy my own damn wireless tower and dare that shit to deny me

Like I’m wontastic for real – I’m gonna dip the winning ticket in gold

Like I’ve found a “rubyhorse” – I’m gonna live like I’ll never grow old.

i'll say this...

Technical difficulties, friends.