Thanks for seein' about a girl, friend. here's where I'm writing my own history—for you, for me and anyone else who needs to laugh to keep from cryin' every once in awhile.

these dreams go on when i open my eyes

Last night I read that, "Our dreams cannot thrive in nooks and crannies. Dreams require open air. Sunlight. That we breathe life into them. Attending to one piece of a dream at a time is the way we bring it into being." Isn't it not so much funny-ha-ha as it is funny-strange how easy it is to lose sight of dreams? Or rather how easy it is really not to dream at all?

Situations and circumstances, responsibilities and requirements anchor some of us in less favorable harbors, and we become endangered of never venturing out to sea...

I work in a basement. Now, before you get too bogged down in the apparent randomness that such a statement evokes, let me explain... elaborate... enlighten you... edify you...

Metaphorically speaking, the basement (note the "b) represents a Block in my life at this time. There are no windows for sunshine to peer in, and the doors that lead to the outside are all behind solid double doors. So there is no breezing by, casually, to check outside and see what's going on.

Prior to this job, I had always checked N/A on that part of the career survey that asks you whether you'd like to be indoors or outdoors. I don't mind either, and I think, anyway, that my career interests will keep me indoors for the most part; but I'd be remiss were I not to note that henceforth I shall be on the lookout for windows.

I need sunshine, and the sky; the natural light of day. I need these things to remind me that there is life going on outside of my cell, er, cubicle. Reasons are reasons, but we all know that it's important to have something that grants us careful reminders that there is other stuff going on besides work. We all know those most unfortunate people who are more consumed with work and are therefore confined to it. Being confined to a basement exacerbates this evil I tell you, and there is nothing worse than finding yourself among stressed out, self-absorbed people. Because you know what happens: they are stressed out and their stress, by osmosis, somehow becomes your stress, and THEN you are stressed out because you can not even believe that you allowed someone else's stress to stress you out.

But I digress. Today I am not at work. (Don't you really hate how even when you're not physically there, it still holds on to you, like static cling?! guh.) I decided that I just needed a day off for myself.

And you would know Someone had the gaul to say I deserved it. Don't you hate it when people say the most obvious things?

A piece of my dream needs some serious attention. It needs sunlight and so I am going to try and breathe some life into it. What is my dream? Well, I have many, but the most important one right now is finding work that does NOT work me: out, into a dizzying tizzy, to the point of cussing and blowing puffs of air at the speed of sneezes...

I am only 24 and while personal fulfillment is a nice thing, I don't exactly have all the pieces lined up just right yet to claim that is my utmost desire. How 'bout daily fulfillment? I just want something to do that gives me good feelings and thoughts when I get up daily. I know, I know, my eyes are rolling as you undoubtedly say, ev'ry dob has zits annoying people and not ev'ry dob will be all hunky dory every day... yada.

I am only 24; grant me permission to maintain my naivete, optimism and idealism. I must do work that gives me satisfaction and challenges me to do more than practice having a nice attitude. I am not an actor, for goodness sakes. Theatrical, maybe =)

Anyway, today is a day for me to nourish just one piece of that dream and let it bask in some sunshine. It's time for me to get out of the harbor and out to sea, to become the person I was truly meant to become.

I am reminded now of one of my favorite songs from my childhood. It's by Tevin Campbell - I know, for real, where did he go?! And it's called Tomorrow, and in many ways, it still embodies much of what I hope for myself...

I hope tomorrow will bring better you, better me/I know that we'll show this world we got more we could be/So you should never give up on your hopes and your dreams/You gotta get up, get out, get into it, get it on to be strong...

That's all I'm talking about people! There is more that I can be than stuck in a cell-filled basement with basement mentalities. I'm getting up, getting out and seeing what I can get into. And so we shall all see today what tomorrow can bring...

temporary destinies

perpen*ticulars